How does domestic and family violence affect children?

Domestic and family violence can seriously harm a child's emotional, psychological and physical wellbeing.

Not all children exposed to domestic and family violence are affected in the same way.

Research shows that children of all ages have more problems when they have been exposed to domestic and family violence. This includes babies and toddlers.

The effects may include:

Violent behaviour, aggression or temper tantrums

Anti-social behaviour and mood problems

Anxiety, depression and stress

Having difficulties self-soothing

Not being able to sleep which can include nightmares or bedwetting

Difficulty concentrating

Difficulties at school including poor reading and language skills

Not wanting to be separated from a parent and being scared about their or their parent’s safety

Poor self-image and low self-esteem

Poor relationships with their parents, including becoming violent towards them

Difficulties making and keeping friends

Physical health problems

Any of these issues may continue into adolescence and adulthood.

Research also shows that children exposed to violence are more likely to grow up and have issues with:

• alcohol or drugs

• unemployment

• homelessness

• increased chance of using or experiencing violence in their adult relationships.

To find out more, see protecting children from domestic and family violence.

Domestic and family violence can affect a person’s ability to parent.

Research suggests that parents who use domestic and family violence are more likely to:

Use coercive and manipulative tactics in parenting

Use harsh discipline

Use a child to undermine the mother’s parenting and self-worth

Interfere with a child’s relationship with their mother

Be angrier towards the children

Be less involved in parenting

Research also shows parents who experience domestic and family violence are more likely to:

• change how they parent to avoid more anger and abuse from the other parent

• be less able to meet a child’s needs due to the stress of the abuse

• experience depression and other mental health problems that can affect parenting

• use harsh discipline due to stress. This often stops when the family is safe.

To find out more, see resources.

Domestic and family violence can seriously harm a child’s emotional, psychological and physical wellbeing. To find out more, see how does domestic and family violence affect children?

It is important to protect children from domestic and family violence and to create an environment where children feel safe.

They need stable and loving relationships where they can find comfort when they are stressed or scared.

You can help your children by:

Getting help to stop or safely leave violence

Giving them structure and routine in parenting

Caring for them and comforting them

Letting them know that it is okay to have feelings

Talking to them about their feelings, worries, hopes and dreams

Giving them positive reinforcement, telling them you love them and that you are proud of them

Respecting them and helping them to show respect for others

Being interested in them and supporting their achievements in school and sport

Supporting them to make healthy relationships with other family members, friends, and teachers.

To find out more, see resources. To get support, see get help.

Federal Circuit Court – Exposure to Family Violence and its effect on children
1800 RESPECT – Offering support to children
Queensland Centre for Domestic and Family Violence Research – Fact sheets about babies, toddlers, children and young people
Rae Kaspiew, et al. – Domestic and family violence and parenting: Mixed method insights into impact and support needs: Final report. ANROWS April 2017