How does domestic and family violence affect children?

Domestic and family violence and family violence can seriously harm a child’s emotional, psychological and physical wellbeing.

Not all children exposed to domestic and family violence are affected in the same way.

Research shows that children of all ages have more problems when they have been exposed to domestic and family violence. This includes babies and toddlers.

The effects may include:

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Violent behaviour, aggression or temper tantrums

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Anti-social behaviour and mood problems

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Anxiety, depression and stress

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Having difficulties self-soothing

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Not being able to sleep which can include nightmares or bedwetting

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Difficulty concentrating

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Difficulties at school including poor reading and language skills

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Not wanting to be separated from a parent and being scared about their or their parent’s safety

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Poor self-image and low self-esteem

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Poor relationships with their parents, including becoming violent towards them

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Difficulties making and keeping friends

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Physical health problems

Any of these issues may continue into adolescence and adulthood.

Research also shows that children exposed to violence are more likely to grow up and have issues with:

• alcohol or drugs

• unemployment

• homelessness

• increased chance of using or experiencing violence in their adult relationships.

To find out more, see protecting children from domestic and family violence.

Domestic and family violence can affect a person’s ability to parent.

Research suggests that parents who use domestic and family violence are more likely to:

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Use coercive and manipulative tactics in parenting

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Use harsh discipline

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Use a child to undermine the mother’s parenting and self-worth

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Interfere with a child’s relationship with their mother

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Be angrier towards the children

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Be less involved in parenting

Research also shows parents who experience domestic and family violence are more likely to:

• change how they parent to avoid more anger and abuse from the other parent

• be less able to meet a child’s needs due to the stress of the abuse

• experience depression and other mental health problems that can affect parenting

• use harsh discipline due to stress. This often stops when the family is safe.

To find out more, see resources.

Domestic and family violence can seriously harm a child’s emotional, psychological and physical wellbeing. To find out more, see how does domestic and family violence affect children?

It is important to protect children from domestic and family violence and to create an environment where children feel safe.

They need stable and loving relationships where they can find comfort when they are stressed or scared.

You can help your children by:

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Getting help to stop or safely leave violence

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Giving them structure and routine in parenting

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Caring for them and comforting them

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Letting them know that it is okay to have feelings

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Talking to them about their feelings, worries, hopes and dreams

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Giving them positive reinforcement, telling them you love them and that you are proud of them

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Respecting them and helping them to show respect for others

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Being interested in them and supporting their achievements in school and sport

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Supporting them to make healthy relationships with other family members, friends, and teachers.

To find out more, see resources. To get support, see get help.